Silent Bob Speaks: The Collected Writings of Kevin Smith
Author: Kevin Smith
Original Release: April 2005

Kevin Smith is a fat-ass fashioner of marginally successful films who isn’t hung very well. Now before you hang me out to dry for that remark, it should be noted that those are *his exact words*, not mine. If you aren’t familiar with the popular director (Clerks, Mallrats, etc.), then you will quickly realize that much of Smith’s banter in his writings is very self-derogatory. The dude thinks very little of himself and doesn’t understand how he has a following. While these ramblings are occasionally amusing, Smith beats this to death by bashing himself over and over again.

Silent Bob Speaks is a collection of writings that Kevin Smith posted on the internet in the first half of the last decade. Self-bashing is a common thread, as mentioned earlier. There are also equal parts discussing his “heterosexual man crush” on Ben Affleck, random comic book ramblings (including his thoughts on the first Spiderman movie), and reports on his issues with morbid obesity. Since the essays were published at various times, there is a lack of cohesiveness between them. Perhaps as a result, the writings are very much hit-and-miss.

There are a handful of great chapters in here, such as Smith’s interviews with Tom Cruise and Ben Affleck (especially funny to hear Ben talk with such optimism about his upcoming roles in Daredevil, Gigli and Jersey Girl — how did that turn out again?). And of course, Smith is actually quite gifted with his humor, although sometimes his lack of confidence causes him to be crude just to try to get a laugh.

Silent Bob Speaks is a quick read, but only hardcore Smith fans will get maximum enjoyment out of this. I like the guy, even though his work has lately been spotty at best, but I just wish he would lay off the self-deprecating tangents. Look, Kevin, you are a genuinely funny guy. Stick to your guns and write with confidence — your work will be all the better for it.

6/10